Humility

Being sick is one of the many humbling experiences during this mortal experience. I am so lethargic and unproductive that it frustrates me. All the household things start slipping and I find that I lean on the crutch of movies to pass the time with as few disturbances as possible. I feel even worse because I feel like I am wasting my life when I am sick. It's at that point that I begin promising myself, and the Lord, that I will be SOOO much more productive with my time, if I could only get over this current ailment. I also find myself cheering myself on when I get something done while I'm sick. Then it's one less thing I will have to do when I get better.


The second thing that brings humility is not getting a full night's rest. Mesa has been waking up 3 or 4 times a night and lately even 5 or 6 times. She could be teething, although for as long as it's been going on, I would have expected to see at least a little tiny tooth . . . but NOTHING. She got some vaccinations last week, but she seems to be over that. The final option is that she has the cold that my whole family got. Despite my best efforts in trying to sanitize and keep her from getting it, I was defeated. With the whole stuffy nose business, she can't take a binky very well because she can't breath. When I am so exhausted and she wakes up, I groan, thinking how tired I am. I go to her crib and look down, seeing those bright eyes staring at me in the darkness when I wish that they were closed. I wrap her up again and start rocking her, trying to keep from dropping her as I half-doze walking up and down the hall. It's humbling.

If my day goes by, and I've only emptied the dishwasher and maybe done one load of laundry, I try to find excuses like "the girls are sick and more fussy," or "if only I had got a good night's sleep, I would've had the energy to get more done." But if I look at the big picture and assume that I only have to be productive on days that EVERYONE in house is in perfect health, and I got a full night's rest the night before, then there will be a lot of unproductiveness in my life. The hard part is to still work through those days getting as much as done as I can, with as much of a smile and cheerful attitude that I can muster, knowing that I tried my best and that the Lord expects nothing more.